I think this will be the final part. Mainly because it’s getting tiresome as a title, nothing to do with giving up the search.
An update then. Last night was good. Last night was very good in fact – a great deal of fun. I got utterly drenched in a waterfight with the Cubs. It’s been a while since I did that. Both getting drenched and being in a waterfight. The last time we did a waterfight, I remained dry on the sidelines and frowned at anyone who attempted to engage me. Suffice is to say this time it was a lot more fun. I always have more fun when I throw myself into activities and actually take part, and, I’d like to think that the young people have more fun as well. I feel the sense of connection, and I certainly don’t feel my age.
The part of me that, as little as a week ago, was so frustrated with everything that I had on my plate, seems alien to me at this point. That’s going to be because it’s the end of term, and my plate has suddenly become less full. But the prospect of facing the same workload again in the autumn doesn’t daunt me now. Perhaps this is because it seems a long way off, but I’d like to think that it’s also because I’m thinking more rationally. A panicked and stressed mind really doesn’t work properly; well, mine certainly doesn’t anyway. A rational mind can appreciate that there is a lot of work to do, but understand that it doesn’t all have to be done at once, and that the smaller, individual jobs are nothing to lose one’s head about.
So I need to learn to ‘graze’ with my workload plate gradually, slowly, rather than waiting until my plate is overflowing, then gorging to get rid of everything, spilling bits of it on the floor, getting in a mess, and looking like a fool. Wow, that’s actually a very good (if forced) metaphor. What’s more, wait for this, this is good – what’s more, if I can’t finish what’s on my plate because I’m too full, either put it in the fridge until the next day, or give it to someone else who’s hungry. But don’t leave it in the fridge and forget about it, or it’ll go rotten and will then be far less pleasant to deal with.
That really is spooky. It’s just occured to me how close this metaphor is to my way of eating – I eat quickly, and if cooking for myself, usually give myself too big a portion. Okay, it’s more than likely unrelated, but it does seem spooky.